Always by Your Side: Relationship Coaching Advice for You & Your Partner
A Celebration of Life
A few weeks ago, I attended a celebration of life for Gregg Leakes, husband of Nene Leakes from Real Housewives of Atlanta. I cried when the great gospel singer Yolanda Adams began to sing, and through my tears, I looked at my husband and fell in love with him all over again.
Why?
Because as I saw the pictures of Gregg and Nene, and heard everyone speak about how wonderful Gregg was, I realized that Gregg was the wind beneath her wings. Yes, Nene is a household name, but it takes a lot to be in the spotlight, to be the public figure in a relationship. Life is exponentially better if there is someone at your side who anchors you. Gregg was Nene’s Anchor, her safe place.
Then I thought about my relationship with my husband, Harold. I’m a successful entrepreneur, CEO, and developer, and always going, going, going. People often ask me how I do it all? The answer is simple. All I have to do is look at my husband, who some might say is the polar opposite of me. Every Idea, every mental break, every new business, every fit of anger, every disappointment, every tantrum, every accomplishment, and every celebration, he’s there, a steady anchor.
*Relationships are about bringing the best out of both people.*
My Anchor
It’s funny, my family wasn’t happy when we chose to make a life together because of our cultural and economic differences. But what I knew from day one was the level of respect he had for me, something I never felt from another man. It was as if this guy understood me but also looked up to me and wanted to give me his best. I, in turn, wanted to be the best version of myself, for both myself and him.
Look, I’m not saying the last ten years have been all rose petals. But what I know is this: We never get so angry that we say hurtful things that can’t be overcome. Even when we are upset, we make sure we never sleep in separate rooms because, as my wise grandmother said, at some point during the night, feet will touch, hands will touch, and everything will look different in the morning.
*Even when upset, touch is vital in maintaining a healthy relationship**
You know, my stubborn ass tried sleeping in separate rooms a few times, and his stubborn ass would remind me of what my grandmother would say… You don’t argue with a Caribbean grandma!
Living Together to the fullest
With so many of us, the question isn’t a matter of love. It’s everything else—the stress of everyday life and all its challenges. Sometimes we forget what keeps us from floating out to sea.
Though I live an extremely busy life with many highs and lows, I also know his is my anchor and that he appreciates it immensely when I tell him that. Besides, my husband isn’t just my anchor. He also makes our life together fun! I’m grateful for that, too, because that combination of security and fun is what life and love are all about. It’s what we all deserve.
When’s the last time you told your partner they are your anchor? Find a reason to tell them today!
Tonya Coppin-Fox came to the US at the age of 5 from Barbados, West Indies. Raised on the value of education and entrepreneurship by a grandmother who was herself a skilled businesswoman, Tonya received multiple advanced degrees before launching a successful career as a leader you call to fix distressed human services companies. Her latest startup, Global R&S, of which she remains CEO, is a multi-million dollar company with hundreds of employees. Global provides life resources, therapy and support to individuals with disabilities in Maryland, Virginia, Washington DC, Nevada, and Barbados. Tonya co-founded Our.Love Company because its mission aligns perfectly with her purpose and passion.
