Breathe Love In, Breathe Love Out: Relationship Coaching & The Importance of Being Present
In the Moment
At times we move throughout the day on autopilot, rarely thinking twice about the choices we’ve made or the interactions we’ve had that day.
Taking long breaths will help you be present with your partner
Being present and living in the moment can be a challenge for most of us, especially when we’ve been on a routine for a long period of time. Routines are excellent for helping us focus on our goals and making us feel comfortable, but they can also hinder our most cherished connections.
By continually doing the same thing day in and day out, we tend to become jaded. Rarely forcing ourselves out of our comfort zone because we may be too afraid to add yet another task to our already jam-packed daily lives.
While change is difficult, this is the way we grow and expand ourselves. This growth will not only make us happier, but it will enhance our relationships. By experiencing a new event or potential hobby, we’ll be inclined to share our experience with our loved ones. Thereby opening a new door to our relationships and creating new memories that we may cherish for years to come.
Taking a breath can refocus your thoughts and calm your body
A Necessity
How do we start this wonderful chapter of stepping out of our routines?
Easy, we become more conscious of our breaths. Breathing is a necessity, our bodies automatically do it, it’s a constant routine.
Just like in our daily lives, we take our breathing for granted. Rarely noticing how we are breathing and why we are breathing. The first step in stepping out of our routines is by stepping out of our breaths.
Conscious breathing throughout the day has been linked to less stress, overall increased mood, and greater awareness of our surroundings. This awareness is what will help us in our journey to breaking our routine and experiencing better love.
Love is a right. Our humanity entitles us to it. But it’s also necessary to our existence, like breathing. We are wired to want to share our life with others.
When we find someone that we can experience the highs and lows of life with, learn from, teach, cry with, commiserate, eat together, play together, raise other human beings together, and seek financial security together, it can become the epitome of what it is to love and be loved.
Take a breath and relax during an argument
Using Breath to End Arguments
Taking a moment to both breathe during an argument can help deescalate fiery emotions
All loving relationships hit stumbling blocks that can lead to fissures. We’re human, after all. It’s how we confront stumbling blocks that determine if we stay in love.
I wish I knew back in the 1980s that love and breathing have more in common than meets the eye; now, I know that conscious breathing is a critical part of staying in love.
As a lot of us know, eating well or staying in shape takes mindfulness and practice. Mindful breathing is no different; it is a skill that takes practice. If you’ve ever worked with a personal trainer, you’ve probably been told how vital breathing properly is to get the most out of an exercise. I bet no one has ever told you, though, that breathing correctly is also essential to getting the most out of your love.
Doing mindful breathing meditations together will encourage both parties to be present in the future
The Importance of the Breath
Breathing is mostly unconscious, but when we experience conflict, mindful breathing can be the difference between staying in respect with each other – or damaging our love.
It’s an easy skill, even though it is so important. All you have to do is stop. Close your eyes. Breathe in as much oxygen as your lungs can handle. Hold it. Then breathe out slowly until your lungs are nearly empty. Focus on a spot in your body; many people focus on the area directly beneath their nose, where they can feel the breath. Repeat. Repeat. 60 seconds.
Taking the time to practice regulating our breathing, even one minute per day, will pay dividends during conflict. If we know how to breathe correctly, mindfully, we can turn to mindful breathing in times of stress in our relationship. For example, breathing mindfully could be the difference between having the wherewithal to avoid a nasty comment or letting it fly and undermine closeness, respect, trust, and love.
The longer you are together, the more critical breathing mindfully becomes. Couples tend to spend a lot of time nourishing their relationships initially – going on dates, eating out, exercising together, going to the movies, dancing. Love is easy! Then, as life’s everyday challenges, such as work, in-laws, finance, perhaps kids, make life harder, it becomes more critical to have the right skills to protect our love. It’s mainly when we are faced with stress and anxiety that we can do unintentional harm if we are not mindful.
If love is central to our health and happiness, and both science and common sense tell us that it is, then we have to protect it. One of the simplest and easiest ways to improve is to learn how to use our breathing so that we don’t lose sight of what truly matters – not winning the argument but winning at love.
Tonya Coppin-Fox came to the US at the age of 5 from Barbados, West Indies. Raised on the value of education and entrepreneurship by a grandmother who was herself a skilled businesswoman, Tonya received multiple advanced degrees before launching a successful career as a leader you call to fix distressed human services companies. Her latest startup, Global R&S, of which she remains CEO, is a multi-million dollar company with hundreds of employees. Global provides life resources, therapy and support to individuals with disabilities in Maryland, Virginia, Washington DC, Nevada, and Barbados. Tonya co-founded Our.Love Company because its mission aligns perfectly with her purpose and passion?
