Creating a Culture of Health and Well-Being With Dr. Richard Safeer
Dr. Richard Safeer is a renowned expert in employee health and well-being. Dr. Safeer is the Chief Medical Director of Employee Health and Well-Being at John Hopkins Medicine and sits on the Board of Directors for Our.Love. The views, information, or opinions expressed in this podcast presentation are solely those of Dr. Richard Safeer and do not necessarily represent those of John Hopkins Medicine or its employees. John Hopkins Medicine is not responsible and does not verify for accuracy any of the information contained in this podcast.
He has built his experience and passion for creating healthy cultures from past experiences working as the Assistant Professor and Residency Director at George Washington University. His past role includes the Medical Director for Concentra Medical Centers and CareFirst BlueCross BlueShield.
Here’s a glimpse of what you’ll learn:
Dr. Richard Safeer defines social well-being and finding a balance in our relationships
The importance of being sympatico and genuinely listening to one another
How distractions can negatively impact our well-being
Dr. Safeer describes some of the critical elements to eliminate stress in our environment
Why a supportive and healthy culture at work means more than just programs
Dr. Safeer explains some key points: be present, lower stress, and sleep
Dr. Safeer answers the question: what is the perfect surprise date for his wife?
In this episode…
How do we balance a healthy work and relationship life? What can you positively do to impact your happiness?
The journey to balanced well-being is different for everyone. Negative distractions can impact the ability to build supportive, healthy, and balanced work and personal relationships. According to Dr. Richard Safeer, having deep cognitive thinking and lowering stress is key to unlocking healthy relationships. To decrease disease and sickness and live longer, surrounding yourself with healthy relationships is essential.
In this episode of Our.Love Podcast, Swati Gandhi sits down with Dr. Richard Safeer, an employee health and well-being expert, to discuss building a healthy and supportive culture. Dr. Safeer reveals how to cherish and examine your relationship, the importance of actively listening, and why we should be mindful and present in relationships.
Resources Mentioned in this episode
Sponsor for this episode
This episode is brought to you by “Our.Love Company.”
If you want to build a strong long-lasting relationship with your significant other and explore new-exciting ways to engage each other, download our Our.Love app today - it is free!
Go to www.our.love and sign up for the latest insights on all topics related to relationships and love! as well as Access to our app! It’s free.
Episode Transcript
Intro 0:03
Welcome to Our.Love Podcast, where we share insights from top scientists and relationship experts on all things about love that are out of the box, refreshing and new. Now sit back, grab a cold drink, or hot one if you prefer, and enjoy today's episode.
Destiny Martinez 0:25
Hello friends, and welcome to Our.Love Podcast. This is Destiny Martinez. Today I'm here with Swati Gandhi, Swati will be interviewing today's guest who is a renowned expert in employee health and wellbeing. Before I introduce our guest formally, I'd like to thank the sponsor of today's episode. This episode is being brought to you by Our.Love Company. If you want to build strong, long lasting relationships with your significant other and explore new and exciting ways to engage each, other download the Our.Love app today — it's free, go to www.our.love and sign up for the latest insights on all top topics related to relationships and love. Now, welcome our amazing guest today Dr. Richard Safeer. Dr. Safeer is Chief Medical Director of Employee Health and Well-being at Johns Hopkins Medicine (The views, information, or opinions expressed in this podcast presentation are solely those of Dr. Richard Safeer and do not necessarily represent those of John Hopkins Medicine or its employees. John Hopkins Medicine is not responsible and does not verify for accuracy any of the information contained in this podcast.). Amongst his responsibilities at Hopkins. He leads the employee health and well being initiative 'Healthy at Hopkins'. Rich is also on the board of advisors for Our.Love Company. Now Swati take it away.
Swati Gandhi 1:45
Thank you Destiny. Hello friends. My name is Swati Gandhi. I am your host today for the Our.Love Podcast. And today we will be talking with top experts about all things relationships. I am super excited to be talking to Dr. Rich Safeer today, especially because this topic is very relevant in our household, Dr. Safeer, my husband and I are Workaholics. And we love what we do. But we don't know how to turn that switch off. And we don't know how it impacts our personal life. And so looking to you for some advice, what do you see? And what are some of the trends you see out there?
Dr. Richard Safeer 2:32
Well, first, thank you for having me here today. I think this this topic of relationships and marriages in particular is extremely important in our well being as Swati, please call me Rich, it's probably much easier to say. So, you know, well being for some people is a little bit of a mystery, like how do you define well being, it's really a state of happiness, health and feeling well, that's the simple way of saying it. But it's so much more than that. And one person's well being journey is different than another person's well being journey. And you've got all these different organizations that are defining well being by these pillars, right? So you've got spiritual well being and financial well being physical well being, well, social well being is a real thing. Having relationships, healthy relationships, is very important to your overall well being your overall sense of happiness, feeling well and be healthy. So Swati, you know, if you and your husband are both working workaholics and it's working out for your marriage, who am I to get in the middle of it? For most people, they really need to be careful about this balance between how much you're working and how much you're paying attention to your relationships. And not just your spouse, kids, cousins, friends, neighbors, they all count. And we'll probably dive more into this during this this program today.
Swati Gandhi 4:07
I would think that a major culprit is technology today. I know in our household, you know the phone tends to be an organ in my body and it thinks I'm there and I just don't know how to step away from that. Because then it's on my mind until the next day, right?
Dr. Richard Safeer 4:25
Yeah, absolutely. So So social media and phones, it's terrible and you can read all the facts you want out on the internet to see destructive it is to your relationships. And you know, it's it's one thing to know it cognitively or in your brain that this is bad for me. It's another thing to develop healthy habits around your technology. And really so so a big portion of my work is around building healthy and welcome cultures and and the reason why I'm so engrossed in this area is because we don't as individually as as individuals generally succeed and building healthy habits and get rid of bad habits on our own. Usually we're successful when we do that with each other. And so if you want to develop a healthier relationship with your technology Swati, I suggest you and your husband have a conversation about what's reasonable, and then try to help each other, reach a better place, reach a better relationship with your technology, and that in turn, will reap dividends on your marital relationships, as well as your kids, family, friends, etc.
Swati Gandhi 5:47
Much easier said than done when it
Dr. Richard Safeer 5:50
is but when people start to think about these things, so listen, if you're watching this podcast today, maybe grab a piece of paper and a pencil, remember what those are, and write down a few ideas. And at the end of that, share those ideas with your spouse and pick two, that's not too hard to and see if you can't come to an agreement about how you move forward. And that in that manner.
Swati Gandhi 6:16
Great idea. So aside from that technology, what other common mistakes Do you see people make? Well,
Dr. Richard Safeer 6:24
so I want to share at the outset that I am not a marital relationship experts, and I'm very grateful that Our.Love exists because, hey, the health of our marriages plays a huge role in our own well being. So I think it's really important. So I personally will be speaking to relationships in general. And, and in particular, I do think I'm qualified to talk about workplace relationships. But really the the advice that we, that we give and that we support in the workplace really applies to family life and marriages. So when we talk about peer support in the workplace, there are simple things like lending an ear, truly listening, not listening while you're texting, not listening, while you're reading your emails, I mean, either eye contact and listening to your co worker, and the same thing, the same benefit of that would be applied toward your spouse. I can go on and if you want me to give you other examples, I will I just get so excited by this, this, this whole idea of well being that sometimes I just got to go a little bit over that.
Swati Gandhi 7:43
How would you say that the home life, relationship satisfaction impacts people and their productivity at work in trying to be a good colleague.
Dr. Richard Safeer 7:54
Yeah, you know, there's this really delicate balance about, you know, how much it's not just the time you spend at work, but how much of your brain Do you give to your work because you don't want to be at home or with your spouse and still be thinking about work. And the balance for some people might be easier than others. Some people might find it very easy to turn off their work. But I heard you say at the beginning of our conversation Swati, that you're not one of those people. And so you know it, it always depends on the individual, and that individuals, marriage or their other relationships. Most people spend most of their waking hours with their job, more than anything else. As a result, most people spend most of their waking hour with people other than their spouses. And because of this, it's really important that we are very intentional, with our most important relationships, including our spouses, because if we do not water the plant, the plants will die. And neglect is a terrible thing. And whether you're taking care of your garden, or you're taking care of your relationships. So this this notion, listen, people cannot be productive at work if they're unhappy outside of work. And I can't imagine being happy outside of work. If my marriage wasn't in good shape, that would just be very difficult for me to reconcile.
Swati Gandhi 9:34
Yeah, I would think that's hard to balance. I know I have a timer on my cell phone where it goes dark after 11pm. But if I tend if I get into bed a little earlier, and my phone dings, I go and answer it. And it's a really bad habit and I imagine I'm not the only one. So how do you see things like this impacting our diet? What do you see as our stress or anxiety?
Dr. Richard Safeer 10:03
Yeah, so there's so many different ways to answer this. But let's go back to the technology aspect of, of our life and how it impacts our relationships. So having a good night's sleep sets you up for success, both with your job and your relationships. So I am not perfect at it, but it's a high priority for me, and I think it should be for everybody. And another day, we'll just go into sleep for an hour. But you know, because of all the distractions, that that can play out and negatively impact your sleep, you need to be very intentional. And so the experts would say that you need wind down time before you go to bed. It's not just a matter of getting into bed and saying, Okay, I'm going to sleep now, you really need to unplug from your technology and deep cognitive thinking for at least an hour before you go to bed. So you know, at least an hour, okay, so there's the blue light that comes from screens that you want to avoid. Now, these glasses have a blue light blocking in them, because I'm in front of the screen so often. But it's not just your computers, it's your TV, too. So you really want to engage in something light for that hour beforehand. And it could be simply as catching up with your spouse at the end of the day. Don't do any planning that might provoke an argument, because you don't want to get into like, very emotional conversations before the end of the day. But really, those beeps, buzzers and bells, the three B's, you got to get rid of them for at least an hour before you go to bed and you clear your head. Swati, you you strike me as the person, you're always thinking about the next best thing. And so if you can find something to do at the end of the day, maybe it's a bath, maybe it's reading of light magazine, or having a light conversation, you're going to get a better night's sleep, and that's going to help you the entire next day.
Swati Gandhi 12:15
That's fantastic. Because tonight at nine o'clock, when all hell breaks loose in this house, I said Rich told me to go take a bubble bath.
Dr. Richard Safeer 12:22
There you go. I don't, I'm not telling you how to take a bubble bath alone, off to the side how you spend that hour secret.
Swati Gandhi 12:29
So you've been doing this for a minute, tell us about some daily rituals that you have incorporated into your life given your your field of work.
Dr. Richard Safeer 12:42
Sure, you know, I've been at this for more than a couple of decades. In fact, I studied nutrition during college. And that's where really where my well being journey picked up. I don't think we want to spend too much time on me because there's so many great other areas of well being that we can discuss and how it relates to, to relationships. But I do have to say that about five years ago, I went on a mindfulness retreat for five days. Now this is after trying to meditate on and off for years, and not really connecting with it. I mean, I remember 20 years ago, I started doing yoga. And I would be annoyed by the first five minutes in the last five minutes where the instructor was kind of like,
Swati Gandhi 13:28
basically need to sleep the bed.
Dr. Richard Safeer 13:31
So I'm just impatient person, I'm highly productive. So that didn't resonate with me. But this mindfulness retreat, it really all came together for me. And so now I, I cherish those minutes at the beginning of yoga, and at the end of yoga, and I bring mindfulness into all parts of my day, including when I'm going to sleep, I'll do a 478 breathing pattern to help calm myself in order to get a better night's sleep. And if I wake during the night, and I'm having a difficult time, again, I'll do a 478 breathing pattern. But it's not just the breathing. It's not just the meditation, not to divert the whole conversation to mindfulness. But mindfulness is a way of staying in the present, and not thinking too far ahead into the future and planning and not thinking too far into the past. And I would encourage everybody who's interested in having a healthy marriage, to explore mindfulness, because we need to be present in the moment with our spouses or significant others in order for our marriages and other relationships to thrive.
Swati Gandhi 14:48
makes total sense. So with coming off with the hopefully coming off the heels of this pandemic, over the last year and a half, you know, a lot of people have had to work from home together, and it looks like they will be opted. I asked you this question already?
Dr. Richard Safeer 15:05
No, not yet. Okay.
Swati Gandhi 15:07
So a lot of couples have had to work together from home. I'm sure your research has shown that it was probably a very stressful time for many people. But it looks like companies are adopting that as a an option moving forward, that we're going to continue to have couples that are working from home, what advice do you have for folks who are not used to that type of environment and are going to have to continue to co work from home and then go back to their daily personal life?
Dr. Richard Safeer 15:38
Sure. So you're right, the data does show that stress is off the charts. Since the beginning of the pandemic, it's really quite a sad state of affairs in that regard. And so you know, some people are stressed about being in the workplace, and some people are stressed about being at home, everyone has different needs. You mentioned that you and your husband are both working from home, there are days that my wife and I are both working from home, and every couple has to navigate their their own relationship with being in the household together, I'll just speak generally, to working at home. I think one of the biggest challenges is separating the beginning and the end of the day. And so you need to make a pact with yourself. And if your spouse is also at home, it's helpful to, again, we usually don't develop habits all on our own. And we usually don't get rid of bad habits all on our own, we usually need support, and we need a system or a culture around us to make this work. And so I would strongly encourage you to have this conversation with your spouse, what time are we going to finish work? How are we going to make our workday as normal as possible? What are we going to do about interruptions or not interruptions? Are we going to take breaks together are we going to take breaks separate? You know, before the pandemic, you were in charge of dinner on Mondays and Wednesdays and I was doing dinner on Tuesdays and Thursdays Are we going to keep to that, you know, so there's the relationship stuff, but just generally speaking about well being, you need to be well to be there for your spouse. So you need to take care of yourself. So putting aside these agreements, most people will feel better if they actually get dressed for work. Most people will do better and feel more Well, if they take a walking break during the day. Remember, people who used to commute they get out of their car and walk to the office. Now if you're walking down the hall, you're not getting that movement, try to get out try to make the same types of habits that you had during the workday. So Swati, I just went on and on and on. You got to tell me, you're probably doing something during the work day from home that you feel good about that's contributing to your well being. Can you tell us what that is?
Swati Gandhi 18:06
I replaced potato chips with popcorn.
Dr. Richard Safeer 18:10
choice. That's an excellent choice. Good for you
Swati Gandhi 18:14
tiny habits.
Dr. Richard Safeer 18:16
That's right. Tiny habits. Every bit counts. That's good.
Swati Gandhi 18:20
Oh, but it was shocking to see how many steps I went from on a normal work day to working exclusively from home and not having to go on any client meetings in over a year that that's shocking.
Dr. Richard Safeer 18:35
So Swati, are you able to take some of your meetings by telephone only and not have to be in front of the video conference?
Swati Gandhi 18:43
Yep. So many of my Our.Love colleagues will tell you that if I'm on a call after six, it will be while I'm on a walk. I've had to start breaking away making some changes like that. Because Yeah, it was it was so sedentary that it was it wasn't a really good work environment. So little changes like that.
Dr. Richard Safeer 19:06
I'm glad you can do that people who walk or people who exercise are able to decrease their stress level. And it's really important to have you know, lower the stress level because when we're stressed we're more likely to get into arguments with the people around us. It's not healthy. And the second thing I liked about what you just shared is that you're walking outside. So getting out in nature also lower stress levels. Swati you can see what's behind me that's Yosemite park in California, went camping there with my son in August and totally unplugged and I came back more rested than I had felt in a year. Definitely great that you're moving Swati and definitely great that you're getting outside.
Swati Gandhi 19:52
That's awesome. Yes, hopefully it'll last before the Pittsburgh snow kicks in. So you Rich, just say Do you have a son? Um, what advice do you have someone? For someone like your son who? This is all new for them, right, the getting into a relationship balancing work. And you know, nowadays these kids are so they're there. There's nothing called unplugged. I don't know if they even know onset, like how do you? How do you? How do you teach them about how to go about this.
Dr. Richard Safeer 20:27
So I've got two sons and a daughter. And you know, depending on how old your kids are depends on where you're going to get started from a Fortunately, my wife and I both agreed that our kids wouldn't have a phone before they're 13. So at least we're able to hold off until that age, before they have regular exposure, because it does get harder, when they have that phone in their hands, then we had some limitations for them for a few years, the older they got, the more difficult it was to put those limitations on them. But you know, the the same that we should hold ourselves accountable to is also for our kids, get rid of that phone, at least an hour before bedtime. And your relationships are not going to be as strong over the internet as they are when you're in person. So encouraging our kids and my wife and I encourage each other to actually see people in person. So the idea that, you know, as a parent, you've got so many things to do. And it's great that we think about nutrition, and we think about movement. But my wife and I, especially accentuated by the pandemic, have really been encouraging our kids to foster healthy relationships, because it's so much part of our well being.
Swati Gandhi 21:51
Great. So this we're talking a little bit more about personal. Tell us about how you actually got involved in the employee health wellbeing space. Was there a was there a driver early on in your career that, you know, made you go in that direction?
Dr. Richard Safeer 22:10
Yeah, you know, I, I got my degree in nutrition. I went to medical school, I finished my residency and family medicine. And I went and I worked in a family practice, I thought I'd be there for 30 years. But it really didn't take long before I got frustrated. Why did I get frustrated? Well, for many of my patients, for a very high percentage of my patients, if they were to make healthy food choices, and were to exercise regularly and not smoke, just those three things, they wouldn't need to be seen me. And you know, I became a practicing doctor during the 80s when HMOs were really No, that was the big movement then. And so we had patients every 15 minutes, extremely frustrating, there was not enough time to truly coach my patients on how to make healthier choices. And it was this nutrition training that was coming back to me resonating with me. So I did some exploration. And I came to the realization that there was an opportunity to touch 1000s of people at a time, if I could work inside a company being the employee health and well being doctor. And so I was able to navigate that path. And I'm you know, this is now my fourth job since leaving private practice been very fortunate to be where I am. And I love and feel privileged to support the 42,000 employees at Johns Hopkins Medicine (The views, information, or opinions expressed in this podcast presentation are solely those of Dr. Richard Safeer and do not necessarily represent those of John Hopkins Medicine or its employees. John Hopkins Medicine is not responsible and does not verify for accuracy any of the information contained in this podcast.).
Swati Gandhi 23:47
That's great. What are some of the trends you are seeing with the companies that you work with as their offerings for employees nowadays?
Dr. Richard Safeer 23:56
Well, I think Finally, employers are starting to realize that well being is a very broad and deep subject matter and that it means different things to different people, as I mentioned at the beginning of our conversation, not not to the broken record. And for those people who remember what a record is, and you know things like gratitude things like making sure you're you're being heard, things like eye contact, these little things they all add up eating popcorn instead of potato chips. You know, well B is a journey and employers are starting to understand it needs to be more than just programs. It really needs to be about building a healthy and supportive culture. So that for those employees who are seeking to have a healthy and well day, it's easy for them to do so.
Swati Gandhi 24:59
probably could have done talked about this a little bit more. So I wanted to circle back. But we've talked about a lot. If there were two, three key takeaways from today's podcast, or that you would want people to really focus on or could get started with, with ease, you know, what would you What would you offer them? What would you tell them where to start?
Dr. Richard Safeer 25:23
So I'm gathering that most of the people watching this podcast are people who are interested in love and interested in the relationship, but you know, primarily the most important relationship in their life, which is probably their marriage. And so the first two came very quickly to my head. One is being mindful. So being mindful is about being present. And being present is about being with your spouse. The second is making sure that you're paying attention and working on lowering your stress level. And those two are, are intertwined, it's really difficult to think you'll have a successful strategy and lowering your stress level if you don't include and appreciate and embrace the power of mindfulness. And as I was giving those first two answers, I the third one, I'm going to say is, do your best to get a good night's sleep. Because when you're well rested, it makes it so much easier to be less stressed, and to be patient. And God knows we all need more patients these days.
Swati Gandhi 26:39
I love it, I can't wait to go to my husband and say date night, bubble bath, and more sleep is what doctors to fear suggests. That's what the doctor ordered. Curry. So if you are on our board of directors, for Our.Love Company, what brought you to us? Well,
Dr. Richard Safeer 27:04
I've been a friend of the founder and CEO Tal Zlotnitsky for 20 years, give or take, it could be a couple more. And, of course, as friends, we have a lot of conversations. And so he came to me with this idea more than once. And we batted it around. And he finally gave me a synthesize thought and presentation on how he's going to bring this to life. And I said, you know, it's how I've been in the well being space for 20 years. And everybody talks about how important relationships are. But very rarely do I see anybody bringing a tool or a conversation, or a program that's going to help marriages. And obviously, there's a huge need 50% of people get divorced. So I said Tal, I would like to help you on this path. I'm not a marriage expert. But I am an expert and well being and I can help navigate Our.Love Company in this space and find you the marriage experts that you need to be successful. It's been a it's been fun. And it's been really, I've been learning a lot along the way myself.
Swati Gandhi 28:26
We've been learning a lot from you. So we appreciate what you've brought to the table, though. I know that you have. You're involved in another podcast called healthy culture now.
Dr. Richard Safeer 28:38
So I am involved in another podcast. My good friend and colleague, Judd Allen. He is the owner of healthy culture now, which is his company, which helps individuals and companies understand how to build a culture of health and well being in the workplace. So I do that for Hopkins (The views, information, or opinions expressed in this podcast presentation are solely those of Dr. Richard Safeer and do not necessarily represent those of John Hopkins Medicine or its employees. John Hopkins Medicine is not responsible and does not verify for accuracy any of the information contained in this podcast.), and he does it for anybody who will come listen. So we really work well together. And it's been fun doing this with him. And so not only does he or we have podcasts, but he has books and there's trainings, and anybody interested in learning how to create a culture of health. It doesn't have to be in a workplace, it could be in your household, you might want to go to healthy culture now.com to learn more about how to do this, there is a science you don't have to guess. Fantastic.
Swati Gandhi 29:37
I have one more question for you. Did not get pre-approved by you. And so I hope that you'll entertain us. But if you are planning your perfect surprise date for your wife, what would it be? And we'll make sure that she doesn't listen to this until after you've done this.
Dr. Richard Safeer 29:59
Well. I would not take Camping. So the perfect surprise date for my wife would be to tell her to pack a bag for the night. And we would drive down to Washington DC, we live an hour, about 45 minutes not too far, but far enough with the traffic some days that I want her to get her out of the house for 24 hours, and leave like the kids and the dog and take her down to Washington, DC and go to an art museum and see a professional theatre piece, have dinner, and then stay in a nice hotel. And the next day after breakfast, and before leaving town, we would go for a walk on Mount one of the many paths in Washington DC and see some of the beautiful, either historic sites, or there's a lot of beautiful parks.
Swati Gandhi 31:03
And of course without mentioned you would be unplugged.
Dr. Richard Safeer 31:07
Oh, I didn't even think about my phone during that part.
Swati Gandhi 31:12
So if people wanted to hear more about date night, for example. Where can people find you if they'd like to hear more about your research? Or perhaps your believe you're putting a book together?
Dr. Richard Safeer 31:30
Yep, yep. Well, thank you for asking. So you can always find me on LinkedIn. And I have a website, RichardSafeer.com. And as long as you know how to spell my name, then you should be able to find the website, I am writing a book. It's a little bit of a long process, but it's about how to create a culture of health in the workplace. Not only are your listeners interested in their marriage, they possibly are leaders in a company. So if you're interested in learning how to create a culture of health, in your workplace, you could go to my website, you can go to healthyculturenow.com. And my website, if you're interested in having your company featured, as part of perhaps there's an example of things that you're doing well there to build that culture of health. I'm interested in maybe featuring your company. So thank you, Swati for giving me that opportunity to invite people to to continue the conversation with me. Absolutely. This
Swati Gandhi 32:31
was fantastic. We really appreciate your time with us today. any parting words you have for our audience?
Dr. Richard Safeer 32:40
Yeah, well, thanks for having me. You know, the parting word is I don't think that most of us grew up understanding how important healthy relationships are in our life. And it's not just about having fun. People who are unhealthy relationships, they are less likely to get sick because their immune system is stronger, there are less likely to get chronic diseases because those healthy relationships foster healthy choices, and you're more likely to live longer. So take your relationship seriously so that you can not only be happy, but you can be healthy and live a long life. Thank you so much for including me today in your program.
Swati Gandhi 33:21
That's perfect. Thank you so much.
Outro 33:27
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